So I’ve been on this weird spiritual kick for about two or three days now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always spiritually on, I consider myself a practicing and believing Catholic and a pretty good one, too. But lately I’ve just felt kind of…at peace, spiritually, which I haven’t felt for some time. One of my biggest problems in my personal faith journey has definitely been this matter of trust. Or even more generic, just having faith in general that God is in control. See, I’m a worrier. A big one…like it keeps me up at night sometimes, which is something I believe I inherited from my insomniac mother, who does the same exact thing.
Anyway, during Mass on Sunday, my pastor gave the most striking homily I’ve heard in quite some time. My pastor’s point was that if we invert the questions we ask about God the Father and God the Son, our faith will have no strong foundation. For example, if we ask “how” before we ask any other question, we’re getting much too caught up in wrapping our finite minds around God’s infinite goodness. Rather, our first and pretty much only question should be “can He?” Can God do this specific thing?
So in taking that a step further, I realized that his point is applicable to literally every situation that I struggle in. I don’t have strong trusting skills so I’m constantly asking God, how? How can this happen? Is this even possible? Or my favorite one to ask “Will this even happen? Because I pretty much can’t figure out how it could…”
Honestly, does it matter how? I firmly believe that God can do anything He decides is right for me, so who am I to try and understand how He does it?
Because I constantly worry, I often say “You know…since I have no idea how you could possibly magically give me 20, 000 dollars to pay for this year’s tuition, I’m gonna sit here and freak out on you and worry to death, and then take matters into my own hands.” But hey, I’ve been pretty dumb about this because I just finally realized during Father’s homily the whole truth of the matter.
And the truth is simple. Can God magically give me money? Yeah, of course. I mean, I know He won’t because that isn’t how He works. But the point is, God can help me and God will help me! So why am I worried?
One of my favorite verses is “He will fulfill His purpose for me,” from Psalms. Not “He may be able to fulfill His purpose for me, if I can just figure out how…” No.
He can fulfill His purpose for you.
And He will.